shootout at the chocolate factory

There are few perfect films. Experiences so pure, we feel no need to secretly wish for an afternoon in the edit suite, a chair at the meeting where the casting director's cousin was elevated from craft service donut wrangler to supporting role. If a short list of perfect films can scroll to one hundred, and we don't quibble at the edges, Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, could presumably sit comfortably at number eighty-seven. The tone is shot through with a malicious/sweet center that throws everything off ... just enough. The sets look cheap and imaginative at the same time, the hallmark of an economy class acid trip. Gene Wilder is pretty much perfect. He was the top of the coaster ride for this turn and anyone who disagrees is wrong. Not much room for gray there. Pick a side. But what to make of the new "more faithful" factory? Bad timing, for one. Johnny Depp is accused of basing his thankless taks on kids' game show hosts, but EVERY last review mentions Michael Jackson. The kiss of death while the guy with the umbrella waits patiently. Tim Burton has the bad taste to express his distaste for the original. Great. A foil-wrapped bomb. Put this on a double bill with the Psycho remake.